For centuries, if not millennia, parents of screaming, squawking, and embarrassingly unruly toddlers have been able to rely on the “terrible-twos” defence. For millions of parents, over the years, it has been both refreshing and reassuring to hear the oft-repeated parents’ mantra “worry not! All two year olds are beyond parental control – its nature’s way!” Unfortunately, a psychologist has now put the kibosh on parents’ smug unresponsiveness to the “semi-feral behaviour” of their wayward two year olds. The “terrible-twos card” is gone! Perhaps forever. Noting that the phenomenon is almost unheard of in Asian and “more traditional cultures” and that parents from other cultures were often mystified by the concept, the researcher has focused on the connection between cultural expectation and children’s behaviour.
The suggestion that children’s poor behaviour is often a function of poor parenting is obviously not a new one, but parents of misbehaving two year olds have always been able to cite the “terrible-twos” get-out-of-jail card, without further explanation. The idea that two year olds are naturally unruly is not one that we should accept without examination anymore, says the psychologist. It should no longer be accepted that parents who tolerate the seemingly uncontrollable behaviour of their toddlers should be beyond criticism. In other words, the “terrible-twos” is the result of poor nurture not pure nature. Really? It’s enough to make you scream and scream, until you make yourself sick!
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